“Wasn’t Me” Says Tandy

Bulldogs forward Ryan Tandy, who is at the center of the NRL’s late alleged betting scandal has talked to the media for the second time regarding the incident.

“My agent told me my last chat with you guys wasn’t convincing enough.” Tandy began. “So, you know, I’ve decided to issue this statement to, you know, put to bed all suspicions towards me.”

“The player you saw making that error, and giving away that penalty was simply not me.”

“It was Kimmorley, I swear. Look, you have no way of proving that man is actually me. You know, can you DNA test a video? No, I don’t think so… You can’t right… Shit, should have asked my manager that one first… Anyway, you know, it isn’t important. It was a corrupt Indian cricket bookie exploring new avenues. He tied me up and then, you know, dressed up as me.”

“So I’m sure that sets the record straight. You can check my alibi with my manager, he untied me.” Tandy concluded.

He proceeded to leave the press conference in his brand new Mercedes Benz, which he claimed to have found when earlier quizzed about it.

“I swear, you know, someone just left it outside my place!”